morbid curiosity got me here
Nov. 27th, 2018 12:40 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
epithalamiumRemember when I went to BLush con and didn't know any of the manga they were talking about? Well harada was one of the mangaka that kept popping up and the summary of some of their work got me curious. How bad can it be, I thought. I played Enzai, I'll be fine.
I checked Niichan, which had been discussed in the con. First page showed me a kid of about middle school age with his cute little randoseru and I noped the fuck out of there lmaoo. A general warning for the uninitiated: seeing 'brother' or 'sister' in the titles of anime and manga never bode well lol. To be fair, Niichan wasn't incest. It was about grooming and CSA.
But I thought I'd give harada another chance. Niichan might not have been my cuppa, but I'm sure there are some stuff I'd be able to read.
In a way yes. But there's no light-hearted harada manga.
I read Yatamomo because it looked very cute and fun: look at those pastel colours! I was partly wrong. The fujoshi in the con described it as 'that manga with a sex addict' and I was prepared to get bored out of my mind. They were also partly wrong, but it was a gathering where girls can talk freely about the sexy fiction they consume, so I'm not gonna hold it against them.
Yatamomo touches on CSA too (and actually I might have seen more people getting triggered by it than other harada works so keep that in mind): Momo lived by selling his body, just like his mother did. In fact, that was how he started. His mum's clients started abusing him when he was still a child and gave him toys and money in exchange. Momo's mum got increasingly jealous about Momo 'stealing her boyfriends' and they parted ways. Momo was kept by a rich guy called Suda for a while, but Suda got married and his wife was expecting a baby so Momo cut his losses and lived in the streets until he met Yata.
Yes, it ended well for all, but before they got there they had to start healing first. It was funny and also heartbreaking. And Yata was a sweetheart.
At that point I decided I liked harada's work. It's a bit darker than the usual BL I like to read and errs into the 'problematic yaoi' tropes that purity wankers keep complaining about, but there's something harada does that makes it work somehow. They know exactly what they're doing and I get the feeling that they really care about their characters: Momo's mum was a complex and surprisingly loving character, and even Suda wasn't so bad (despite being an ass and raping Momo to 'punish' him for leaving).
This is not to talk shit about BL manga like Viewfinder or even Junjou Romantica (where the lack of consent is handwaved and the seme forcing his attention on the uke is treated as romantic*) but I think what makes harada's manga work like that is there's a very good balance of humour, sexiness, and disgust. Yes: disgust. Like I said, harada knows what they're doing and if the reader felt disgust, pity and fear during Momo's rape scene while still thinking it's hot (I didn't but we all have our kinks) it's because the reader was supposed to feel like that.
Momo came while being raped by Suda, but he didn't enjoy himself and pretty much admitted it to Yata later. harada doesn't shy away from drawing problematic shit and making them look gorgeous (as a person who doesn't like dick, even I have to admit harada's dick art is gorgeous) but harada is also fully aware it's problematic shit and allows their characters to react accordingly.
*I don't have to remind anyone that people generally don't read BL manga for relationship advice, but also subsets of porn do feature reluctance and rape fantasies. In this house we don't judge. I don't say I hate Junjou Romantica--I do in fact enjoy Junjou Egoist. But it's a different level of like from liking harada's work.
Yoru to Asa no Uta (Yoru and Asa's Song; Yoru also means night while Asa is morning) is about a band. A shitty band that only got attention because popular and talented singer Yoru went to join them as a bassist (and backup vocals) after their original bassist quit. No one knew why Yoru did that, but apparently it was because he had this super big crush on Asaichi (the Asa of the title) who wasn't even that good a musician and was there only to pull some chicks.
Actually no, Asaichi can be cute sometimes. And he had this enthusiasm for performing to an audience that I think was what made Yoru like him so much. Add in some weird and dangerous fans, Asaichi's casual homophobia (I don't really hold it against him; it's obviously a product of societal bs which he was slowly unlearning), some sex scenes laced with the same homophobia and random self-loathing, and a scary as fuck rape scene (Asaichi got raped by thugs as punishment for being an ass to a female fan) and you've got one heck of a manga.
I didn't like this as much as I did Yatamomo and it didn't really have a lot to say (the encore or Yoru to Asa no Uta Ec is much better tho, I'm liking what I've read so far) but I include it here because another rape scene. And again, it's a scene that's lovingly detailed and might be sexy for some but definitely horrific for all.
And now the reasons why I wrote this post.
Color Recipe is about hair stylists and Fukusuke's obsessive love for Shoukichi. At first it's pretty much your run of the mill manga: Shoukichi and Fukusuke met in the streets. Shoukichi thought Fukusuke was an ass but surprise! He's Shoukichi's new workmate! They started getting to know each other better. Shoukichi's still annoyed but then this creepy customer started stalking him and Fukusuke's there to help so maybe Fukusuke's not so bad after all?
Spoilers from here on out: Fukusuke orchestrated it all. He sent creepy customer flirty emails from Shoukichi's phone, making creepy customer think he has a chance with Shoukichi. Semen all over Shoukichi's door knob that he thought was creepy customer? That was Fukusuke too. See, Fukusuke met Shoukichi a long time ago while they were both training as hair stylists and he admired Shoukichi's idealism and attitude so much homeboy just went 'I must own 100% of that'. He was so scared about not becoming Shoukichi's #1 he went to kidnap the guy, tied him up in bondage gear, and tried to rape him. Tried because when Shoukichi broke, the fire that Fukusuke loved so much went out and he realised he can't even get it up. He wanted to own Shoukichi but he realised forcing the issue wasn't going to cut it.
So what did Fukusuke do? Grovel. Start up his own hair salon so Shoukichi won't have to see him any more. Grovel some more. Shoukichi starts thinking maybe Fukusuke really means it this time. And maybe he does. But it's still very much a longer and more complicated con in order to become Shoukichi's #1.
I FUCKING LOVED IT. I loved it so much I decided I needed to buy the 2-volume manga as soon as volume 2 came out. I have it on my shelves now along with Yatamomo and Yoru to Asa no Uta.
If you ask me why, I don't know what to tell you. But let's try:
1, Again, that feeling of disgust. Seeing Fukusuke wanking off on Shoukichi's door knob was creepy af and that's not even half of what Fukusuke had done. Was this meant to be titillating? Maybe. But more in the way you can't stop looking at accidents on the road than 'this really turns me on'. (Although as we all saw from J.G. Ballard's Crash, some people get off on that too. Off topic: I watched the movie for erotic writing class and was totally fine until they started licking at freshly tattooed skin. DO NOT.)
2, It's no secret I love manipulative bitches. Fukusuke having a bitch off with Riku (another hair stylist) were some of my fave scenes in the manga.
3, Shoukichi is so nice. Like not especially in a naive way where Fukusuke just runs circles around him, but nice in that he believes the best of people and genuinely wants to do the best that he can. Fukusuke used that to his advantage, but Fukusuke also lost that when he started going BDSM on Shoukichi. So back to square one for him. Fukusuke you poor fuck. You could have become Shoukichi's #1 without coming on door knobs, but here you are. (And yeah, I know Fukusuke did all that shit not only because he wanted to own Shoukichi but also because he enjoyed it. But he got what he deserved, imo.)
4, But you know what I really loved about this? Is that Fukusuke failed. The realisation that a broken Shoukichi wasn't what he wanted was kind of refreshing. I see this so much in hentai and while I guess some people like that sort of thing I never really saw the point. I loved seeing Fukusuke realise he'd fucked up, panic, wonder how he'll get Shoukichi back, and adjust his plans accordingly. Homeboy's playing for keeps and it was kind of comforting for me. Is this romantic? No. Is this healthy? No. But does it comfort me knowing that no matter how fucked up Fukusuke is he actually has feelings/emotions/thoughts I can relate to? Hell yes. Do I love seeing a manipulative asshole's plan fail and realise he's not as smart as he thought? Yes.
I think part of why I love harada's work so much is, as I've mentioned about Yatamomo earlier: their characters can be surprisingly easy so sympathise with. Fukusuke might be a fucked up piece of shit yes, but he's also human. In fact, all monsters are human.
And finally:
After reading almost all harada manga that's been scanlated, I decided it was time to go back. Yup, I read Niichan and I actually liked it. GASP!
If you read the comments in manga sites, you'll find a bunch of people saying 'This can be used as a guide to groom kids!' and how dangerous it is. It's one of the reasons why I was so scared of reading Niichan. Do I think it's dangerous? Maybe to some people. Definitely proceed with caution.
My thoughts, with disclaimers and spoilers:
If you come in expecting some cutesy shoutacon, this is not it. In fact, I found it complex enough that I'm gonna do a quick comparison with Nabokov's Lolita. If anyone's reading this, don't leave. I swear I know what I'm talking about.
Niichan is a completely different animal from Humbert Humbert (whether that's a good thing or not depends on you). Nabokov's novel focuses on Humbert: how he managed to charm people (even the readers) with his gentlemanly ways and how Dolores was too young to fully understand the consequences of her actions, a fact which Humbert had exploited. It also has to do with society and us readers: it's so easy to be fooled by someone because they act nice and have a beautiful vocabulary. Lolita is considered dangerous by some because Nabokov wrote it so well many people might miss the point that Humbert is a horrible creature and instead be swept up by his words and sympathise with him. In fact, many people did.
Niichan on the other hand, focuses on the aftermath of abuse. On one hand, it's that manga where Yui the child gets sexually abused by Niichan and he'd been groomed so well he actually felt guilty afterwards and wanted to find out what happened to Niichan after people found out he was a child molester. Yui is haunted by memories of Niichan: 'I wish I didn't stop him back then, he wouldn't have had to leave' and 'Would he still want me now that I'm grown up?'
On the other, it's about a man who got molested as a child but, unlike with Yui, his abuser had been caught and put to jail. This man also happened to be gay, but being gay was now forever tied up with his past abuse. Did he love his abuser? Did he 'become' gay because of his abuse, like his parents thought? Did he molest Yui because he wanted to reenact his experiences with his own Niichan? Was he broken? Did he not deserve to live? The pressure on 'Niichan' is so great that tbh, it's hard not to feel some pity for him. And Yui, being the fucked up kid that he was, decides he was going to give his Niichan the love that he deserved.
There was a lot to unpack: Niichan has so many misconceptions about gayness and his ideas of love were skewed because of what he'd gone through and tbh this was more than a high schooler like Yui could handle. Except this is fiction and it turned out Yui was quite equipped to love Niichandespite acting like a sociopath despite censure and judgement from everyone else.
Is this romantic? You know what, yes. I'll say it is. Is this healthy? Fuck no. Does it manage to push all my 'hell yes' buttons? Fuck yes.
See here, it's about two fucked up people. One of them is a Mess. The other is slightly less of a mess but in a scary way. Yui is willing and capable of carrying Niichan's burden. He doesn't act like an 18 year old, but that's okay. Heck, he had a weird way of dealing with trauma, but that's also okay. It's all just fiction. But what I really love?
Niichan was human. He wasn't something we should be scared of. In fact, he was scared out of his wits himself.
Again: proceed with caution. I'd say this manga is triggering as fuck, but I can also see some people finding comfort in it. We react to fiction in different ways, after all. But this is definitely one of my favourite harada manga.Now will I ever actually feel comfortable enough having a physical copy or
I checked Niichan, which had been discussed in the con. First page showed me a kid of about middle school age with his cute little randoseru and I noped the fuck out of there lmaoo. A general warning for the uninitiated: seeing 'brother' or 'sister' in the titles of anime and manga never bode well lol. To be fair, Niichan wasn't incest. It was about grooming and CSA.
But I thought I'd give harada another chance. Niichan might not have been my cuppa, but I'm sure there are some stuff I'd be able to read.
In a way yes. But there's no light-hearted harada manga.
I read Yatamomo because it looked very cute and fun: look at those pastel colours! I was partly wrong. The fujoshi in the con described it as 'that manga with a sex addict' and I was prepared to get bored out of my mind. They were also partly wrong, but it was a gathering where girls can talk freely about the sexy fiction they consume, so I'm not gonna hold it against them.
Yatamomo touches on CSA too (and actually I might have seen more people getting triggered by it than other harada works so keep that in mind): Momo lived by selling his body, just like his mother did. In fact, that was how he started. His mum's clients started abusing him when he was still a child and gave him toys and money in exchange. Momo's mum got increasingly jealous about Momo 'stealing her boyfriends' and they parted ways. Momo was kept by a rich guy called Suda for a while, but Suda got married and his wife was expecting a baby so Momo cut his losses and lived in the streets until he met Yata.
Yes, it ended well for all, but before they got there they had to start healing first. It was funny and also heartbreaking. And Yata was a sweetheart.
At that point I decided I liked harada's work. It's a bit darker than the usual BL I like to read and errs into the 'problematic yaoi' tropes that purity wankers keep complaining about, but there's something harada does that makes it work somehow. They know exactly what they're doing and I get the feeling that they really care about their characters: Momo's mum was a complex and surprisingly loving character, and even Suda wasn't so bad (despite being an ass and raping Momo to 'punish' him for leaving).
This is not to talk shit about BL manga like Viewfinder or even Junjou Romantica (where the lack of consent is handwaved and the seme forcing his attention on the uke is treated as romantic*) but I think what makes harada's manga work like that is there's a very good balance of humour, sexiness, and disgust. Yes: disgust. Like I said, harada knows what they're doing and if the reader felt disgust, pity and fear during Momo's rape scene while still thinking it's hot (I didn't but we all have our kinks) it's because the reader was supposed to feel like that.
Momo came while being raped by Suda, but he didn't enjoy himself and pretty much admitted it to Yata later. harada doesn't shy away from drawing problematic shit and making them look gorgeous (as a person who doesn't like dick, even I have to admit harada's dick art is gorgeous) but harada is also fully aware it's problematic shit and allows their characters to react accordingly.
*I don't have to remind anyone that people generally don't read BL manga for relationship advice, but also subsets of porn do feature reluctance and rape fantasies. In this house we don't judge. I don't say I hate Junjou Romantica--I do in fact enjoy Junjou Egoist. But it's a different level of like from liking harada's work.
Yoru to Asa no Uta (Yoru and Asa's Song; Yoru also means night while Asa is morning) is about a band. A shitty band that only got attention because popular and talented singer Yoru went to join them as a bassist (and backup vocals) after their original bassist quit. No one knew why Yoru did that, but apparently it was because he had this super big crush on Asaichi (the Asa of the title) who wasn't even that good a musician and was there only to pull some chicks.
Actually no, Asaichi can be cute sometimes. And he had this enthusiasm for performing to an audience that I think was what made Yoru like him so much. Add in some weird and dangerous fans, Asaichi's casual homophobia (I don't really hold it against him; it's obviously a product of societal bs which he was slowly unlearning), some sex scenes laced with the same homophobia and random self-loathing, and a scary as fuck rape scene (Asaichi got raped by thugs as punishment for being an ass to a female fan) and you've got one heck of a manga.
I didn't like this as much as I did Yatamomo and it didn't really have a lot to say (the encore or Yoru to Asa no Uta Ec is much better tho, I'm liking what I've read so far) but I include it here because another rape scene. And again, it's a scene that's lovingly detailed and might be sexy for some but definitely horrific for all.
And now the reasons why I wrote this post.
Color Recipe is about hair stylists and Fukusuke's obsessive love for Shoukichi. At first it's pretty much your run of the mill manga: Shoukichi and Fukusuke met in the streets. Shoukichi thought Fukusuke was an ass but surprise! He's Shoukichi's new workmate! They started getting to know each other better. Shoukichi's still annoyed but then this creepy customer started stalking him and Fukusuke's there to help so maybe Fukusuke's not so bad after all?
Spoilers from here on out: Fukusuke orchestrated it all. He sent creepy customer flirty emails from Shoukichi's phone, making creepy customer think he has a chance with Shoukichi. Semen all over Shoukichi's door knob that he thought was creepy customer? That was Fukusuke too. See, Fukusuke met Shoukichi a long time ago while they were both training as hair stylists and he admired Shoukichi's idealism and attitude so much homeboy just went 'I must own 100% of that'. He was so scared about not becoming Shoukichi's #1 he went to kidnap the guy, tied him up in bondage gear, and tried to rape him. Tried because when Shoukichi broke, the fire that Fukusuke loved so much went out and he realised he can't even get it up. He wanted to own Shoukichi but he realised forcing the issue wasn't going to cut it.
So what did Fukusuke do? Grovel. Start up his own hair salon so Shoukichi won't have to see him any more. Grovel some more. Shoukichi starts thinking maybe Fukusuke really means it this time. And maybe he does. But it's still very much a longer and more complicated con in order to become Shoukichi's #1.
I FUCKING LOVED IT. I loved it so much I decided I needed to buy the 2-volume manga as soon as volume 2 came out. I have it on my shelves now along with Yatamomo and Yoru to Asa no Uta.
If you ask me why, I don't know what to tell you. But let's try:
1, Again, that feeling of disgust. Seeing Fukusuke wanking off on Shoukichi's door knob was creepy af and that's not even half of what Fukusuke had done. Was this meant to be titillating? Maybe. But more in the way you can't stop looking at accidents on the road than 'this really turns me on'. (Although as we all saw from J.G. Ballard's Crash, some people get off on that too. Off topic: I watched the movie for erotic writing class and was totally fine until they started licking at freshly tattooed skin. DO NOT.)
2, It's no secret I love manipulative bitches. Fukusuke having a bitch off with Riku (another hair stylist) were some of my fave scenes in the manga.
3, Shoukichi is so nice. Like not especially in a naive way where Fukusuke just runs circles around him, but nice in that he believes the best of people and genuinely wants to do the best that he can. Fukusuke used that to his advantage, but Fukusuke also lost that when he started going BDSM on Shoukichi. So back to square one for him. Fukusuke you poor fuck. You could have become Shoukichi's #1 without coming on door knobs, but here you are. (And yeah, I know Fukusuke did all that shit not only because he wanted to own Shoukichi but also because he enjoyed it. But he got what he deserved, imo.)
4, But you know what I really loved about this? Is that Fukusuke failed. The realisation that a broken Shoukichi wasn't what he wanted was kind of refreshing. I see this so much in hentai and while I guess some people like that sort of thing I never really saw the point. I loved seeing Fukusuke realise he'd fucked up, panic, wonder how he'll get Shoukichi back, and adjust his plans accordingly. Homeboy's playing for keeps and it was kind of comforting for me. Is this romantic? No. Is this healthy? No. But does it comfort me knowing that no matter how fucked up Fukusuke is he actually has feelings/emotions/thoughts I can relate to? Hell yes. Do I love seeing a manipulative asshole's plan fail and realise he's not as smart as he thought? Yes.
I think part of why I love harada's work so much is, as I've mentioned about Yatamomo earlier: their characters can be surprisingly easy so sympathise with. Fukusuke might be a fucked up piece of shit yes, but he's also human. In fact, all monsters are human.
And finally:
After reading almost all harada manga that's been scanlated, I decided it was time to go back. Yup, I read Niichan and I actually liked it. GASP!
If you read the comments in manga sites, you'll find a bunch of people saying 'This can be used as a guide to groom kids!' and how dangerous it is. It's one of the reasons why I was so scared of reading Niichan. Do I think it's dangerous? Maybe to some people. Definitely proceed with caution.
My thoughts, with disclaimers and spoilers:
If you come in expecting some cutesy shoutacon, this is not it. In fact, I found it complex enough that I'm gonna do a quick comparison with Nabokov's Lolita. If anyone's reading this, don't leave. I swear I know what I'm talking about.
Niichan is a completely different animal from Humbert Humbert (whether that's a good thing or not depends on you). Nabokov's novel focuses on Humbert: how he managed to charm people (even the readers) with his gentlemanly ways and how Dolores was too young to fully understand the consequences of her actions, a fact which Humbert had exploited. It also has to do with society and us readers: it's so easy to be fooled by someone because they act nice and have a beautiful vocabulary. Lolita is considered dangerous by some because Nabokov wrote it so well many people might miss the point that Humbert is a horrible creature and instead be swept up by his words and sympathise with him. In fact, many people did.
Niichan on the other hand, focuses on the aftermath of abuse. On one hand, it's that manga where Yui the child gets sexually abused by Niichan and he'd been groomed so well he actually felt guilty afterwards and wanted to find out what happened to Niichan after people found out he was a child molester. Yui is haunted by memories of Niichan: 'I wish I didn't stop him back then, he wouldn't have had to leave' and 'Would he still want me now that I'm grown up?'
On the other, it's about a man who got molested as a child but, unlike with Yui, his abuser had been caught and put to jail. This man also happened to be gay, but being gay was now forever tied up with his past abuse. Did he love his abuser? Did he 'become' gay because of his abuse, like his parents thought? Did he molest Yui because he wanted to reenact his experiences with his own Niichan? Was he broken? Did he not deserve to live? The pressure on 'Niichan' is so great that tbh, it's hard not to feel some pity for him. And Yui, being the fucked up kid that he was, decides he was going to give his Niichan the love that he deserved.
There was a lot to unpack: Niichan has so many misconceptions about gayness and his ideas of love were skewed because of what he'd gone through and tbh this was more than a high schooler like Yui could handle. Except this is fiction and it turned out Yui was quite equipped to love Niichan
Is this romantic? You know what, yes. I'll say it is. Is this healthy? Fuck no. Does it manage to push all my 'hell yes' buttons? Fuck yes.
See here, it's about two fucked up people. One of them is a Mess. The other is slightly less of a mess but in a scary way. Yui is willing and capable of carrying Niichan's burden. He doesn't act like an 18 year old, but that's okay. Heck, he had a weird way of dealing with trauma, but that's also okay. It's all just fiction. But what I really love?
Niichan was human. He wasn't something we should be scared of. In fact, he was scared out of his wits himself.
Again: proceed with caution. I'd say this manga is triggering as fuck, but I can also see some people finding comfort in it. We react to fiction in different ways, after all. But this is definitely one of my favourite harada manga.
(no subject)
Date: 2018-11-27 12:42 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From: